As I sit here, and look through my window, embracing the cold air that mother nature possesses, my pain, that was buried within myself, hidden
further than my emotions carry, resurfaces itself and tells me I cannot
get rid of it, that it will always live with me. I am the remainder of
an equation of a beautiful picture tore into pieces. My pain empowers
me, breaks me into tears, makes my heart ache of the pain I thought
I could escape from. Born into a family where a father worhsips money
and women before he worshipses God and his family. Molested by family
members I thought saw me as an equal, not a lustful object. Pain
spreading like a disease, weakening me, yet strengthing my hatred
for the root of my pain. I am the equation of a young child searching
for love within, yet to be sexually abused and raped with no remorse.
Not seen as a qualified human, but an object to be used and thrown away.
My mother, who has been beaten to submission. Beaten to accept the
normality of abuse. Obilivous to her children's feeling, only to
validate her own. I am the equation of a young girl looking for love
caught up with the sensual, yet helpful release of sex.
A young mother with a child. A child with a man that does not love
nor want me. Pain thickens. My tears heated. I look through my window,
see my reflection, see my reflection of someone I don't want to see.
I accept that person who feels pain as an added emotion to her life.
I accept myself. My broken heart. My broken spirit. My broken self.
I accept, and the pain vanishes.

~ Shai Cameron